August 10, 2008
Rev Linda Fernandes-Bailey
Seeking Happiness
I’d like to share a story from the Hindu tradition it goes like this:
The Lord Vishnu said to his devotee: “I am weary of your constant petitions. I have decided to grant you any three things you ask for. After that I shall give you nothing more”
The devotee delightedly made his first petition at once. He asked that his wife should die so that he could marry a better woman. His petition was immediately granted.
But when friends and relatives gathered for the funeral and began to recall all the good qualities of his wife, the devotee realized he had been blind to all her virtues. Was he likely to find another woman as good as her?
So, he asked the Lord to bring her back to life! That left him with just one petition. He was determined not to make a mistake this time, for he would have no chance to correct it. He consulted widely. Some of his friends advised him to ask for immortality. But of what good was immortality, said others, if he did not have good health? And of what use was health if he had no money? And of what use was money if he had no friends?
Years passed and he could not make up his mind what to ask for: Life or health or wealth or power or love. Finally, he said to the Lord, “Please advise me on what to ask for.”
The Lord laughed when he saw the man’s predicament, and said, “Ask to be content no matter what you get.”
We could imagine a same conversation coming from our own tradition right?
Well, it made me think about our search for happiness. Some of us become obsessed with it I think. We leave marriages, change careers, move across the country…you fill in the blank, all in hope of fulfilling our quest to be happy. Sometimes it works for a while then we might find ourselves back in the same spot again. AND don’t get me wrong sometimes it is the right decision to leave a marriage, start a new career or relocate but the changes don’t guarantee happiness. So, often we flit around from thing to thing seeking, searching, hoping to land a happy spot. Happy. What is it? I have been pondering this a lot lately. I think about all the people I have known over the years struggling to find happiness and my own struggles as well. I started wondering what does our faith say about happiness? What does scripture say?
Now, to be sure there is a lot of stuff out there on happiness. It is in fact a whole new area in the field of psychology. Do a computer search on happiness and you will discover many books making many promises! I looked at my own collection of books on the topic…the first one very old, I must have bought it when I was a young social worker the title is “Happiness is an Inside Job” by John Powell still relevant I might add. Then, not long ago in my book club read :”The Geography of Bliss” which is written by a journalist on a quest to find the happiest location and why people are happier in certain places. It was an entertaining book in my view, and got me thinking about happiness. And finally a book titled “Happiness NOW”…written by a psychologist who is Director of The Happiness Project. It is the work of those in the helping professions to find out why so many people seem unhappy and how they can help.
So there has of late been lots of research too in this area. As you may have guessed people often believe that only if they had more money they would be happy. But most research finds that isn’t true, money only helps to a point! In the epilogue of his book Geography of Bliss Eric Weiner concludes with these findings: “Money matters, but less than we think and not in the way that we think. Family is important. So are friends. Envy is toxic. So is excessive thinking. Beaches are optional. Trust is not. Neither is gratitude.” He goes on to say, “Our happiness is completely and utterly intertwined with other people…Happiness is not a noun or a verb. It’s a conjunction. Connective tissue.” (page322 & 325)
Now that sounds like something people gathered as a community of faith can relate to! Because it means coming here today…to gather as a community of faith will add to your level of happiness! Now that’s good news!
Happiness is a funny thing because we mostly define it as a feeling. It’s a state of elatedness. We want to be high on happiness all the time so we get to thinking, “if I do this or that it will make me happy.” Sometimes we convince ourselves that someone else can make us happy. We convince ourselves that it comes from outside ourselves! But wait, remember my book…”Happiness is an inside Job” There is truth to that don’t you think? It has something to do with how we think, the messages that spin round and round in our brains. Are they positive or negative? And it has something to do with the choices we make. In fact, some psychologists would say happiness in its self is a choice. It has to do with how we view the world “Is the glass half empty or half full?” AND it has something to do with how we care for ourselves body, mind and soul…living balanced lives increases happiness.
Mostly I think we obsess to search for happiness because we find it hard to be human. We find it hard to live with the variety of feelings that spin around inside. It is all too easy for circumstances to dictate what we feel. SO naturally we hope for some sort of steady keel and we think that is called happiness. The truth is happiness happens in moments. We can not grasp it and hold onto it, we must embrace it and notice it and appreciate it when it lands upon us.
So, in my ponderings about happiness I was thinking, “What does scripture say about happiness?” My short search didn’t come up with a lot. Hmmm… that probably says something right there. Yet many spiritual leaders believe we have the right to happiness, but I think they just define happy in a different way.
Take Jesus for example! I remembered studying the beatitudes in my synoptic gospels class (synoptic meaning the first three gospels of the new testament Matthew, Mark and Luke because they present the life of Jesus in similar fashion.) anyway, the professor said that a better translation than blessed are the poor in spirit etc….is happy are those. Think about what Jesus says about happiness and it gives it a whole new spin! Imagine…Happy are those who are poor in spirit, who mourn, who are meek, who are pure in heart, who hunger and thirst for righteousness, who are merciful, who are peacemakers, and those who are persecuted for righteousness sake. WOW! I didn’t hear anything about feeling elated did you? NOW don’t miss understand me, I believe in a joyful God a God who wants us to be joyful people but maybe we need to think about where our joy comes from!
Flora Slosson Wuellner does a great job in defining the meaning of some of the beatitudes let me quickly share that with you…she says, Poor in Spirit means we recognize our total need for God, those who mourn acknowledges the blessing of being able to admit and feel emotional pain and recognize we are vulnerable as human beings. Being meek…now this is the best definition I have ever seen on meek because we assume it means mouse-like and being a doormat. Slosson Wuellner defines it as “Listening to God, to other, ourselves, being willing to change, responding out of God’s gentle power rather than out of defensiveness.” And then points out that Jesus is seen in scripture as having strength, courage and firmness yet we call him meek and mild. So, I encourage you to rethink meekness! Pure in heart implies Jesus looks into our heart and is concerned about our priorities, motives and intentions. Peace translated from the word shalom is best defined as wholeness, well being…energized harmony of body and soul.
So, there is a lot to ponder when you think about what Jesus thought about happiness…and the beatitudes might be the only thing we can come close to! It is impossible of course in one sermon to unfold the depth of the beatitudes so I encourage you to take time with them and think about them in terms of happiness.
It seems to mean, that for Jesus it always comes down to living your life in a certain way. Remember, his earlier followers are called people of The Way. First and foremost as people of faith we are called to live lives centered in God. This includes taking time for prayer, meditation and reading scripture. We need to recognize our deep need for God. We need to live as people capable of mourning of being vulnerable and feeling our deepest pain, only then can we really connect with others to be people of compassion. Happy are the meek means we live our life less reactive…we listen for God’s voice in all situations, listen to others and respond out of God’s gentle power. We can speak out when necessary but being people of faith means we will try our best to be mindful of our speech causing no harm to others. This takes listening and reflecting. Living pure in heart means we live our lives with priorities and motives that reflect our faith. We make sure our intentions are pure. As peacemakers we seek not just peace in the world but we begin within ourselves seeking wholeness…paying attention to body and soul. This is what makes for true happiness! Jesus promises new life and that we will have abundant life but it is not the same as what the world offers. Happiness looks different. It includes concern for others. As people of faith our happiness comes from seeking justice and extending mercy. Seeking happiness means living with intention and living into our true self, the self God created us to be…minus the masks and defenses that we so often operate from.
Remember the story I opened with Lord Vishnu said “Ask to be content no matter what you get.” There is such truth in that statement. In other words practice gratitude. This is a spiritual practice that will enhance our happiness. Flitting around searching and seeking for that happy spot leaves us empty and always on the run. Rather than believing happiness is out there if we could just find it… live the life you have. Follow in The Way. One writer said. “How much happier we are and how much more happiness we experience if we fall in love with the life we are living.” Life is a gift. Happy are those who receive the gift with gratitude. Amen.